All that is happening

Where to begin?

In October/November, we found out that my dad had colon cancer. It was treated with surgery in December with follow up Chemo to begin a few months later. Through that prep process, we discovered that he has stage 4, inoperable liver cancer. The average prognosis is 2-3 years with treatment. So now he is doing chemo. It sucks (but it beats the alternative?).

I'm struggling with how to process and react to the information. He reminds me that they only expected his kidney transplant to last 10 years, and here he is 43 years later with a kidney that is 18 months younger than he is. So, he has beat the odds in the past. Who is to say he won't now? But still.

I compare this with FP's experience and struggle with the sudden loss versus the slow burn. It makes me grateful for the extra moments I get to appreciate. But sickness. Uncertainty. Sadness that feels misplaced when he is still here and, for the most part, doing fine.