I know she didn't time her death to coincide with my life, but the quotes that all of my friends are posting on FB are touching me so very deeply today. The timing is practically perfect. The moments when I'm questioning my decisions even when deep down I know they are right.
Get ready for a ton of Memorial Day pictures!
We went down to Austin yesterday and spent the night so we'd be sure to be on time for the parade.
Leo managed to get two shirts messy, so I quick stopped at Walmart to get a new one, and couldn't resist getting everyone a flag shirt. They loved them.
I took tons of Leo pictures. I can't resist that grin.
Steve's USS Curtis Wilbur shirt.
Here it comes. Don't blink or you'll miss it!
The band was really good this year.
Is there term for a marching string section?
Waving his flag with gusto!
He's saying "All gone" and telling me where it went.
Chatting with an Austin Police officer. Felix pointed out the state of Minnesota sticker on the car.
Checking out the trombones with Pop Pop
Leo and I spent lot of time away from the ceremony. But when the band started playing he said "more" "again" and wanted to go back and see them.
Everyone got a casing from the 21 gun salute:
Showing off his casing
Watering the memorial flowers with Grandma D
Janet & Jerry were kind enough to bring over the bicycle Jerry is giving FP. We loaded on the bike rack (something I haven't done in a few years) and then headed to lunch with the whole family. At lunch Felix said to uncle Jerry:
"Why is your face always so happy?"
"Because I'm happy to see my family. "
"What will your face look like when you go home?"
Finally.
A gorgeous weekend.
A weekend in which the kids can spend all damn day outside.
A weekend in which the I can spend all damn day outside.
Perfect.
Never mind that FP managed to surprise me with a date on Friday night. (Which was heavenly BTW)
Yesterday I got the gardens in good shape. I got all the bikes in good shape. I took the bigguns for a bike ride around Lake Nokomis.
They'd never been on a bike path before, so I took them to the west side of Nokomis where there is very little traffic and taught them
1. to stay on the right
2. What to do if they want to pass someone.
3. What other people will do when they pass.
We had to take turns being the leader (I got to be the leader at all street crossings) and they did great. Relia was thrilled to ride for more than just the length of our block, and Felix was adorable on his tiny little bike, making Brrrrrr noises the whole ride. A few times they got distracted and crossed the center line, and while walking our bikes on the bridge over Minnehaha creek, Felix lost hold of his bike and it went careening down the hill and onto the path (When he saw I wasn't upset, he thought that was pretty funny). Oh, I can't wait to do more family bike outings.
I signed Relia up for a "learn to ride a bike" class at REI. She's scared, but I know she can do it. It's pretty cheap, and, if nothing else, I'll learn what to do when the time IS right.
Today I cleaned out both cars -SUPER cleaned- It has been a long winter and the inside of both cars were disgusting. It feels so good to have them both so nice. And that will last for about 24 hours.
Super-dad came over and helped me fix our outdoor outlet so I can use our electric lawn mower without having to run an extension cord out the front door.
Now, thanks to the sedative properties of fresh air, the kids were a cinch to put to bed and I have time to get ready for tomorrow.
I feel the weight lifted. The decision is made. The necessary people have been informed. I'm just waiting to hear back from the district officials. Then I will officially be at a new school in the fall.
It was hard, I had a speech prepared. But when I finally found my Principal in her office, I walked in, she looked at me and said "You're taking the other job, aren't you?" I said yes, and that was it.
Now I get to be somewhat persona non grata to her for the next few weeks. I will stay positive and do my best to make the transitions as smooth as I can.
I spoke to the potential new Principal last night. I told her that I am confident that I want to be at Hall. She seemed surprised. I said now I have to have the difficult conversation with my Principal. She responded that she knows that Denise wants to keep me and that if my mind changes from that conversation that I don't need to feel uncomfortable telling her that. Wow. That right there makes me more sure I want to work for her.
This morning, Denise asked me if I knew what I was going to do. I told her I would have my decision by tomorrow. I think she knows I'm going. She asked if there was anything she could stay to make me stay. I said I didn't think so. And that is the truth. I'm not leaving because of something that is wrong with my school. She repeated that "you still have work to do here"She's right. But that will always be true. The thing about teaching is your are never, ever "done" If you think you are, then it is time to quit, because you really aren't.
I had a really nice day today with my kids. Some things are clicking! I gave a quick division quiz and all of my 5th graders but one got the answer right, or at least had the right first steps because I only gave them a few minutes to work. So then I think, "I want to keep going with this" and I don't want to leave.
But I can continue at another school. It isn't starting over. It is starting anew with better understanding.
New Principal also asked me about my understanding of behavior struggles at new school. I know it will not be easy. I called a friend who does my job at another northside school and she encouraged me to do it.
So as I walked to my car, I started to cry. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I was having a little difficulty breathing. I came home and cried for 15 minutes. -It is all stress from making this decision.
I'm praying that once the decision is settled I will feel much more peace.
I've decided that I want a change for next year. I've been doing this job for 5 years, longer than any other I've had. I love it, but I'm ready to switch things up a little. I'm a bit of phoenix. If I don't get thrown into the fire every few years, I don't grow the way I'm supposed to. No one has thrown me in, so it's time to jump.
Friday I had an interview at a different school. My Principal has offered to let me move from working with 4th & 5th grade to 2nd & 3rd. I said YES! (but that I was still looking at other schools) I was excited about the change. I was still going to do the interview on Friday just for the experience.
I had heard nothing but fabulous things about the Principal, but that is about all I know about the school. The interview was fun. We talked about all sorts of great things. The tone of the conversation was more "When you get the job" than "If you get the job", and that feels great.
It is a much smaller school, about half to a third the size of my current school.
I would work with 6 teachers instead of sixteen. It is a somewhat
different population. It is an International Baccalaureate school, like
Relia's. They are a part of the grant I worked on this year so I could
help them with that -and it would be cool to do in K-2. And they have windows! (but no A/C).
It's about 5 miles farther away and...well aside from fear of change and pissing off my current principal, that is the only downside I can see: A slightly longer commute. Instead of leaving at 6:50, I would have to leave at 6:40 (and I couldn't walk if my car is in the shop).
I was still mostly set on staying put.
Then, completely coincidentally, I had breakfast on Saturday with my most awesome mentor, Audrey. She has been a tremendous influence on my thinking as a math leader. She has also been around our district enough that she knows a thing or two about how people work. She thinks I should take the new job. She thinks it will be great. Dammit. I had my mind made up. Now my only excuse is the fear. And I can't let myself not do this because of fear. But fear is so powerful.
FP thinks I should do it too.
Hmmm. Some of the most important people in my life, who have nothing to gain or lose in whatever I choose, have the same strong opinion about what I should do. How can I say no?
Now I have to wait for that official job offer from HR (or the insultingly named "Human Capital").
When I started doing tech, I really let the dress code for work slide. When you have to crawl around under nasty, rarely cleaned under desks on a regular basis you don't want to wear your best.
That has continued, but I've been trying to do better on a limited budget. Now that the weather is nice, I'm breaking out my favorite skirts and I happened to find a couple of nice dresses recently.
I also told my principal and a couple of colleagues that I'm looking around at other job possibilities at other schools.
Today someone made a comment about my clothes and it meaning I'm interviewing (I'm not).
Hold on, that's the phone.
Now I have an interview.
So I just have to start dressing like a slob again and they won't suspect anything, right?
Or they will think I got a job and don't have to care anymore...
We hit the annual Bryn Mawr neighborhood sale today.
I was a little worried about how Leo would do, but all the kids were so great. Relia was fairly judicious about how she spent her money. Felix was thrilled that he got to spend money, and Leo was happy to ride in, or pull the wagon.
Relia picked up a pink baseball hat and a hot chocolate. My little "soccer mom".
We didn't come away with anything super fantastic, but it was a fun day.
It was so hard to walk away from these cool wooden lockers. So cool and just what we could use, but about $200 more than I could justify in our budget. Maybe someday I can cobble something together.
Relia was one of 4 Dorothys in the school play. Adapted by the fabulous Miss Pearl, developed by people from Heart of the Beast, It was amazing. It was definitely a grade school play, lines were forgotten or whispered, and microphones squeeled, but as someone who manages children all day, I am amazed by what they accomplished.
She has been getting ready for this 2 evenings a week since January, and every night for the last 2 weeks. She was nervous and worried up until the dress rehearsal, then she was all excitement.
The crow were teasing the scarecrow, being "bucket dumpers".
Dorothy scared them away and invited him to come with her to Oz.
Toto was super cute and knew everyone's lines.
The final bows
Post show popcorn
